OK, so you are starting out your child in playing chess. There are
lots of things that I can say and lots of approaches you can take.
However, chess is not just tournaments for your child. It is about
giving him or her something that may last a lifetime.

The first question is not for a your child or the chess coach or
another parent. The first question is for yourself. It is made up of
a single word. Why? Why are you teaching your child chess? Why do
you want him or her to get better in chess? Why bother? Only you can
answer that.

In this column, we'll deal with many questions and hopefully some
workable and achievable answers.

Can you recommend me starter books for my children?

Yes, go get Chess Tactics for Kids and How to Beat Your Dad at Chess,
both by Murray Chandler. You can use them by either going through
them with your child or if your child is capable of some self study,
learn by looking at the diagrams.

Starter books for the Chess Parent?

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Chess, Third Edition by Patrick Wolff.
Affordable and excellent coverage of chess in general.

Tournaments for my child?

When you know that your child has learned to accept that losing a game
is normal, a tournament may be a good thing to try out. On the other
hand, it doesn't hurt to check out one by visiting and talking with
players or parents in between rounds to get a feel for it. The key
life lesson for the child is that sometimes things don't always go the
way they want and that winning is not possible all the time. They key
here is how they react to losing and how they grow as a person to
losing. That is far more important than any single tournament.

I believe my child is the next chess champ of .

Really? Did you watch the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer and get
inspired by it that maybe your kid could be the next Josh Waitzkin?
Maybe so. Just so you know, Waitzkin basically left chess behind and
went on to bigger and better things. He went on to greater challenges
and achievements and continues to explore and expand himself. Go read
his book, The Art of Learning. Perhaps you are hoping that maybe your
child will become the next one to join this illustrious list of
"young" players:

* Hikaru Nakamura
* Ray Robson
* Daniel Naroditsky
* Robert Hess

I'm not going to say he or she isn't. I'm just going to suggest that
when we first become chess parents experiencing the successes of our
kids, that we can easily get sucked into the competitive world and
imagine that they might become the next chess prodigy of some sort.
Great for you if he or she is such a champion. However, don't think
that everything is a failure when they don't become the champion at
the National Scholastic Championships or get that college
scholarship for playing chess. The game and its activities has
benefits far beyond the obvious.

They include:

* Developing mental skills (of different types over time)
* Discipline and self control
* Learning about cause and effect (and consequences)
* The value of hard work
* There are rules in life and society

They won't learn all of these from day one but if they enjoy the game
and work on it and have their minds open, they have a good chance of
eventually learning these things. What video game on the Xbox or
Playstation has any hope of getting them these benefits?